Posted in Inspirational

Seasonal-affective-disorder

Seasonal-affective-disorder (SAD) is the pits.  I have the fall version of SAD and it is difficult to function. Having Bipolar (schizoaffective-disorder) and Major Depressive Disorder is making my symptoms worse. I have depression that ranges from sleep deprivation to excessive sleeping.  Last Sunday, I slept all day- getting up to take a shower after my daughter thoroughly made me angry about being SAD.  She goes through this every Fall with me and see’s me sink into depression and apathy.  So she deliberately goaded me trying to get me to snap out of it.  Well, it worked… after I got over being angry the next day I got up 5:00 a.m. CST and stayed up and have been doing this every day since. I still wake up in the middle of the night for about three hours no matter how late I stay up.

I force myself to stay awake and be active even though everything inside me is rebelling at the notion.  I have been unable to write in my blog for a month now because of the depression. It dries up my creativity and desire to be positive in nature.  The overcast days and reduced hours of light aren’t helping. I use an overhead light and a desk lamp both with daylight brightness LED bulbs to help stimulate the hormones that prevent SAD.  They have professional light boxes available for sale but they are expensive so I make do without them.  The doctors recommend cognitive behavior therapy, aka talk-therapy in addition to anti-depressants. I am already at the maximum therapeutic dosages for my illnesses and have to manage with mind-over-matter thinking on a daily basis. SAD just makes it more difficult.

This year I am actively acknowledging SAD and asking for prayer from my church families and support group.  I continue to write the “welcome to our church” and “get well and sympathy” cards even though my heart really isn’t in it to be encouraging to others. I rely on scripts that I wrote when I was not depressed to help me provide this much-needed service.  One of my support groups has ended for the holidays till January 2019. This makes it harder for me to have fellowship and get out of the house. That’s one of the triggers for me is hibernation and wallowing in despair, not wanting to do anything to help myself.  Hence, getting up early to combat this notion.

Are you or someone your support going through SAD, write to me in the comments and let me know how you are dealing with SAD, maybe we can encourage each other.

For Professional information go to:  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20364722