Posted in Inspirational

Battling psychological warfare- you need a weapon to fight your battles

When you are battling psychological warfare you need weapons to fight your battles.

I can not express firmly enough that faith in Jesus Christ and God the Father is essential. Because the battle is not only a physical manifistation of feelings but a spiritual endurance of faith and trust in GOD. If you are agnoststic or atheist then just ignor this section because you can not change my mind in this area.  There is a spirit of evil in our world, you only need to listen to the daily news to verify this. We need to gather spiritual gifts from GOD to help us not succumb to intrusive thoughts or stinking thinking as I like to call it; thoughts that say bad things to me; condem me, guilt me, or cause unjustified worry.  We are not only of the body but also of spirit says the LORD.  It is in this we place our faith that our spirits will be reunited with Christ when he comes to claim us. Its more than being a good person or doing the correct things even a non-believer can do good things, it is an absolute certainity that we are spiriual beings in a corpoal body and eventually the bosy will cease to exist but the spirit will never end.

Before you get into a psychological crisis you can create a tool box of items to redirect your feeling and thoughts. In my toolbox, I have paints and canvas, paper and pen & computer, simple sewing projects, scriptures I can read of affrimations of who God says I am, markers and coloring books, or my scrapbook kit.  Some people prefer taking walks or other exercise- I commend them for that;  I can’t shut my mind off when I exercise I need a creative outlet. Some people put music or movies in their kits. Phone numbers of safe people to talk to. You get the idea- it’s to give you a safe physical derailment of the  stinking thinking when it occurs.

An example of when to use your tool box.

Try to stay out of bed if you are Depressed. Don’t go shopping if you are in a Manic state. If you are OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you need routine but try derailing it with one item from your toolkit for a specified time limit. whether it is physically cleaning your hands, home or stemming (physical manifiestations like wring hands, rubbing face swinging legs or arms). If you have ODD or ADHD or some other form of mental illness then put things that will help you derail a moment whether its procrastination or over-productivity (somewhere in between is good)  or intrusive thoughts.

Harming yourself is NOT an OPTION. Use your contacts or call 911 or your doctor. Even if you feel as though you are at the maximum of theraputic dosages on your medications- call your doctor and let them know what is going on. Find a support group in your community or a hospital setting or go into talk theraphy with a licensed therapist. You don’t have to go it alone. You are a strong, capable person because you are still on the sunnyside up of the grave.  Its hard dealing with mental illness- its not for wimps. I have been in the suicidal aspect of life and let me tell you this, you feel very alone like GOD and Satan are leaving you alone to make the decision to end your life or to live. Clarity is in the fore front of your mind for the first time in perhaps ages you see things as they really are and not how you want them to be. All the pettiness, jealousy, grief, mourning is unfolded before you and you have a choice to make. Do I live or Do I die? Some people get stuck or stinking thinking emerges like “I’ll show them (someone) what they made me do, etc. ”  This is a falsehood- only you are accountable and responsible for the chioces you make in life. And You can not control how others will view the choices that you make.  Remember, Suicide is a permante solution to a temporary situation. So if you are at that place already stop now and get help for yourself. Life does get better, there are seasons of disquiet and seaasons of harmony, but the important thing is that you live those seasons. 

I AM NOT A PSYCHAITRIST OR THERAPIST the above renderings is what I have found that has helped me out in the past, I hope it benefits you. Stay on your medications, see your therapist or support group, and stay in contact with your doctor, and above all pray.





Posted in Inspirational

What does the term “clinical depression” mean? Answers from Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D. Part Two: What is it like to live with Clinical Depression. by Kat Challis

What does the term “clinical depression” mean?

Answers from Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D.

Depression ranges in seriousness from mild, temporary episodes of sadness to severe, persistent depression. Clinical depression is the more-severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss, such as the death of a loved one, or a medical condition, such as a thyroid disorder.

To diagnose clinical depression, many doctors use the symptom criteria for major depressive disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association.

Signs and symptoms of clinical depression may include:

  • Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
  • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Symptoms are usually severe enough to cause noticeable problems in relationships with others or in day-to-day activities, such as work, school or social activities.

Clinical depression can affect people of any age, including children. However, clinical depression symptoms, even if severe, usually improve with psychological counseling, antidepressant medications or a combination of the two.


And What is it like to Live with Clinincal Depression and MDD

BY: Kat Challis

(MDD) major depressive disorder has had a life altering effect on my social relationships. Uninformed people tell me to ‘snap out of it’ or ‘fake-it ’till you make it’  in happiness. Often people will put conditions on their friendships when you are experiencing a MDD episode. They will threaten or choose to end the friendship if you don’t stop being so depressed.  Medication and talk theraphy, journaling all provide self-care activities for the patient of MDD. Family members are often perplexed, they may be experiencing the same stressors as the MDD patient but they don’t react like an MDD patient, and that causes additional stress upon them.  MDD patients are often seen as lacking courage or being weak minded- but that is a falliacy. There are clinical biological reasons that cause this disorder— having a strong will is meaningless when you are in the throes of a MDD episode. You can still have episodes of MDD while on medication for the treatment, based upon your other health issues there may be a limit to the amount of antidepressants that the doctors can prescribe at any given time.

There is hope at the end of the tunnel, doctors have researched areas of the brain that are effected by MDD on MRI studies and are trying different combinations of medications on animal and human test subjects. People with MDD can have a “tool-box” of coping strategies; talking about your feelings with signicandt others or therapist, journing or writing poetry, stories, or novels can help channel some of the mood into a creative outlet, so can other arts like painting, pottery, crochet,or sewing. One with MDD doesn’t have to stay stuck in a cycle, they can de-rail it with proper medication and treatment. I however, do not endorse shock treatment. I have found from experience that it is not beneficial and loss of memory can be permante. Speak with your doctors if in doubt. Don’t give up! You the patient are still accountable and responsible for the choices you make- some choices last a life time.

Posted in Inspirational

Are You Happy?

Are you happy, truly happy? Not the giddy, silly, I’m on top of the mountain type of happiness that is event centered. I am talking about the day in and day out kind of happiness that makes you want to get out of bed and do something that day.

Are you happy that you have employment! Happy in that you like your job. You feel that you are contributing to the company’s success.  You value your co-workers as individuals and as a part of the team. When you look at spending 1/3 of your life working for yourself or someone else, does it give you pleasure that you have a purpose- a feeling that something is happening because of your efforts? Even mundane, repetitive jobs have a goal such as; shopping or maintaining your home or transportation.

Are you happy that you have a family to call your own?  Having dynamic relationships with people that share a common bond- parentage or adoption into a family through blood or the legal system. It’s not easy to have a family; there are disagreements, feelings get hurt, apologies are not always forthcoming, so you have to forgive for self-preservation. One must love unconditionally those in their family unit, even those who are unlovable by having an ornery or evil spirit. Unconditional love is grace- God’s grace, it not that anyone has earned it or is deserving of it- grace exists. While your exercising grace is it a joy to be with your family members individually or as a group? Do you feel enriched and loved by other people, so they give you cause for happiness? Or are you missing the happiness boat?

Are you happy that you have developed friendships with otherwise strangers? Some of these friendships are close to family feelings of importance. They have a value that can come for a small season or a lifelong season. Sometimes we disappoint most of the time were in sync with the other persons thought processes and personality that’s what endears them to us.

God can be our source of great happiness. A belief in a spiritual power so high that it shames our perception of happiness/ but gives us a benchmark to strive to attain. We are made up of a spirit/soul, physical being, and a thought process. One can not be separated from the other.

Whether its work, family, or friends we need happiness for our physical well being, spiritual, and mental health. When you are unhappy, you have a physical reaction like frowning, being anxious, being tired, have aches and pains, depression and taken to the extreme suicidal thoughts. You may even waiver in your faith in God. or not want to be with anyone else. It takes more energy to be unhappy than that of being happy. Happiness is a conscious choice that effects our subconscious actions. So choose happiness or “fake it ’till you make it’ happen.”

Posted in Blog or Stories, Medical

Two Chin Man

When I was six, we went to visit Aunt Hazel in Anniston, Alabama. Her daughter Martha Louise had just married a Child Psychiatrist and the groom wanted to evaluate all of us children. My brother went in first and came back out and said that the doctor had double chins. My sister went in and also came back telling me that the doctor had two chins. Curious as I was, I began to ask questions. Does the doctor have two mouths? Does the doctor have two noes above the two chins or are they side by side? How does he eat with two chins? Does it hurt to have two chins? My brother and sister kept answering my questions until finally, it was my turn to see the doctor.

I went in and was told to sit in this huge leather chair.  I was fixated on looking at the doctor for his two chins. To my disappointment, I didn’t see two chins, or a double chin, or two mouths. I squint my eyes and tried to see if I had missed something that would let me see his two chins.

But, he only had one nose and this huge hole in his chin that looked like an actor Kirk Douglas on T.V. I don’t remember any questions the doctor asked me, he had me draw some pictures and color the pre-drawn picture which was a little fun. When I went back to my sister and brother, I replied with chagrin, “you guys are crazy, the doctor doesn’t have two chins!” They broke out into hysterical laughter.

Kat Challis


Posted in Inspirational

Paying Attention To Your Lawn

As the world outside finally begins to turn green after a long winter, it’s time once again to pay attention to your lawn. Spring is a sensitive time for your yard – the soil is spongy, the plants are tender, and the weather is unpredictable. Your lawn will thank you for being gentle this time of year, but it will also thank you for addressing a few important spring tasks.

Here’s how to go about taking care of your lawn in the spring.

Types of Grass

Spring lawn care depends on the type of grass you are growing:

•Cool-season grasses include fescue, bluegrass, and rye. They have two growth spurts – a moderate one in the spring, and a big one in the fall. They go dormant and can struggle in hot summer months, so the focus of spring care is strengthening the plants for summer.
•Warm-season grasses – such as Zoysia, St. Augustine, centipede, and Bermuda – thrive in the heat and go dormant during winter. They begin growing after the last spring frost and really get going by midsummer.

Understanding the type of grass you have and its peak growing season will help you address lawn care tasks at the correct time.

Clean Up – Gently!

Avoid heavy yard work in the spring until the soil dries out – foot traffic and hard raking can compact or disturb soggy soil and damage tender, new grass shoots. Once the soil is good and dry, give your lawn a good spring cleaning to encourage grass growth and discourage pests and diseases. Remove leaves and fallen debris, and gently rake to fluff up and separate the grass shoots.

In areas with heavy snowfall, leftover snow piles can smother the grass underneath and foster mold growth. As the weather warms, spread snow piles out with a shovel to encourage melting.

Controlling Weeds

Spring is the best time to prevent weeds by using pre-emergent weed control, which work by preventing weed seeds from germinating. Your first application of a pre-emergent herbicide should occur just as the forsythia bushes finish blooming in spring – that should stop crabgrass and other weeds before they have a chance to grow.

Both cool-season and warm-season lawns benefit from weed prevention in the spring. Pre-emergent herbicides work for about three months, so plan on a second application during the summer.

Seeding and Planting

In the spring, gardeners have to choose between weed control and lawn seeding. Pre-emergent herbicides prevent grass seed from sprouting too, so you can’t do both – the herbicide will be active for up to 12 weeks, which means you’ll miss the spring planting season.

If your focus this spring is on filling in bare spots or establishing a new lawn, time your activities according to the type of grass:

•Cool-season grasses can be planted as soon as the air temperatures get into the 60s and soil temperatures are in the 50s. Plant as soon as temperatures allow to give the seedlings a chance to get established before hot weather hits. Fall is a better time to plant cool-season grasses, so use spring planting for patching bare spots, and be prepared to keep your lawn well-watered during the summer.
•Warm-season grasses can be planted when air temperatures are in the 70s, soil temperatures are in the 60s, and all danger of frost has passed. Late spring is the best time to plant warm-season grasses.


The type of grass you have also influences when and how you should fertilize your lawn:

•Cool-season grasses: Resist the urge to heavily fertilize your lawn in the spring. Spring feeding encourages rapid tender growth that will struggle to survive the heat of summer, particularly in drought-prone areas. If your lawn is in bad shape, fertilize lightly in spring with a balanced, slow-release fertilizer. Save the heavier feedings for fall, when cool-season grasses are at their peak growing season.
•Warm-season grasses: Fertilize in late spring as soon as the lawn “greens up” and begins actively growing. This is usually in April or May, after the last frost.

Soil Problems

Spring is a great time to conduct a soil test to find out if your soil needs any amendments. You can apply lime to acidic soil (pH below 6) anytime during the growing season, as long as the grass isn’t wilted or covered with frost. Early spring can be a great time to apply lime if you’ll be planting new grass that year.

Don’t apply lime within 3 weeks of fertilizing, as the ingredients can react and become less effective. Follow the recommendations of your soil test kit and your purchased amendments for proper dosage.

Other Spring Lawn Tasks

Aeration: is best done during your lawn’s peak growing season. For warm-season grasses, this means early to mid-summer. For cool-season grasses, aeration is best saved for fall but can be repeated in spring if the soil is extremely compacted. Wait until your lawn has been mowed 2-3 times in the season, so you’ll be sure it is growing fast enough to recover from the aeration.

Dethatching: also best done during peak growing season, right before aerating.

Mowing: Begin mowing as soon as your lawn needs it – grass blades do best when you cut no more than a third of the blade’s length at a time.

Watering: Once your grass starts growing, you’ll need to make sure your lawn gets at least 1� of water per week. Until then, you can water less frequently but remember that cold air is very drying to plants and lawns.

Insect control: Spring is a good time to address problems with fire ants. Many other insects, such as grubs and mole crickets, may also cause damage to your lawn in spring but are more effectively controlled later in the summer.

Lawn Equipment: Sharpen the blade and tune up your lawn mower, as well as other lawn equipment, to make summer mowing a breeze!

info from 


Posted in Blog or Stories, Inspirational

The joy of being a dog owner

I have been blessed with fur-babies, each one bring a unique character that enamours them into my heart. She had a special pup named  Brigett who lived a long  life with family.

Angle was our very first dog. She was a chocolot labrador retriever full blooded… She was very gentle with the children and lived with us for 13 years before being consumed with cancer. Ralph Lorne was a fully grown bird dog. He had health issues and lived with us for nine years before he died. He was a gentle giant of a dog, so loving, so caring of me.

Our next dog was a blonde labrador retriever named K’lona. She was hit in the head by winds from a tornado and the kennel wanted to put her down, but we intervened and she was a very special dog indeed. K’lona could sense seizures before they happened and would alert me to the oncoming seizure. She laid in bed comforting my husband while he was on chemo treatment for nine months. She would go into the ot tub with my husband and keep him company. She passed from old age.

Montana was a chocolate labradore retriever who lived with us as an adult with a son named Caleb; a black labradore retreiver. They were found on a lonely stretch in the country, having been dropped by their previous owner. Montana was afraid of cowboy boots and baseball caps on men for a very long time, ’til we desensatized her. Montana was very laid back while here pup was rambuncious. Caleb would play with our Llama’s cria as they grew up. Montana passed from old age and Caleb died of a broken heart.

Porthos was a transition dog a Beagle. This poor dog was displaced with us in a hotel for five weeks being kept in a crate while I was gone meeting contractors. He would not acclimate to our home so we had to find another loving environment with an elderly lady who had time on her hands to care and walk him daily.

Macie a chocolate labrador retriever is our current furbaby. She is 14 years old, we got her five years ago. She is such a sweet heart, stays by my side constantly, she has spirit enough to take unauthorized neighborhood walks- the neighbors will bring her home since she is mostly blind and hard of hearing and has arthritis. We will let her live her natural life out with us.

Bot a black labradore retriever graced our life for about two years. He was so hyper active. I kept scratches on my arms, and stomach where he would pin me down in his zealousness to be loved. We had rescued him from the ASPCA, he was emanciated- his ribs and pelvic were skin over bones. He was so grateful to be rescued- we restored his good health. He left our family four months ago to live with a family in the country. I miss him terribly, but know that he is happy and being loved on with his new family. Every once in a while I will cry from missing him my only solace is that he is happy.

Summer is the latest addition to our family she is a hybred  dog 1/2 Beagle and 1/2 Bassett Hound called a Bagle. She is Zackary’s dog but, we babysit her during the week while Zackary is at school. She is all puppy, very mischeivous and barks allot at Macie. She demands attention from Macie but Macie doesn’t give in to her demands. It is all a process of learning. She enjoys playing fetch with me and stays by my side during her non-Zack time.

Kat Challis (C)2018, April 30,


Posted in Inspirational, poetry

The Power of Woman

The Power of Woman

From out of her mother’s womb

This sweet little girl does come

To capture the hearts of many


Exploring with her feet

She kicks wildly at her crib

And feels the bed shake


Hanging on mommy and daddy

Not just anyone will she go to

Just try and she will cry


Teddy bear so cuddly; a welcome night friend

Tea sets filled with rock to serve her imaginary friends

Big girl preschool, lots of playing while learning too


Shopping for sleeping bags and cool jammies

Sleepover’s we’ll plan with the greatest of ease

But come nightfall, she’ll want to go home, please


Little white tights, Mary Jane leather shoes,

Hair neatly braided, lunch safely tucked

In a carefully chosen backpack


On the first day of Kindergarten, she’ll say

“Please Mommy, let Daddy take me.”

A single tear rolls down my cheek after she leaves


The years speed by too quickly

Many third-grade romances

And broken hearts in Jr. High


Dad, I found the perfect Mustang

It needs a little work, but its so-oo cool!

Mom will you teach me how to drive


Graduation robed, and motors tossed in the air

The future is full of promises and dreams

A white flowing dress and love in her eyes

She says’ forever, “I do!”


From out of her mother’s womb

This sweet little girl does come

To capture the hearts of many


Kat Challis ©2010 The Dreamer’s Soul – Circle of Love


Posted in Inspirational

An Angel’s Visit

There once was a man, aged by dereliction.

He came to our trailer door pleading for something to eat.

He asked if he could use the water hose.

So, I gave him a towel, washcloth, and soap.

While he began to clean his too thin body

I began to cook.

I remembered to treat him as an honored guest and put on our best.

Pan fried steak sizzled while the biscuits baked and the vegetables cooked.

From my best plate, he ate and said it was the best meal he ever had.

I was just thirteen years old, but I was certain that God had sent an angel

to our door that very day.

Kat Challis 06/17/2007

Posted in poetry

I, Canvas

Canvas relaxed on easel awaiting the energy of creating
          Six colors chosen, splash on-site
       Shapes emerging, blending, some stands out

Canvas heated poised on easel welcomes the cool touch of paint
 Purple to yellow, Blue to Orange, White to Black all compliment
      Darkness creep upon the night to swirl its edges

Canvas exhausted cools on easel through the night
 Brushes are washed of color, swirled and straightened
              A work of art has emerged

             Canvas is framed and placed for show
         Proudly being the new center of attention
         The artist agonizes: is this my very best?

Sept. 05, 2005


Posted in Inspirational

Other publications

Publications: Literary pen names: Kat Challis, Kathy Ann Challis, and Kathryn Aubrey.
1. “The Dreamer’s Soul,” Kathryn Aubrey, Vol.1, Kathryn Aubrey Publishing. 2003, ISBN# 0-9747822-0-3. It is a book of poetry and short stories about people as teachers, heroes, and friends.

2. “Teenager’s,” American Poetry Anthology, Vol. X, No.2, Robert Nelson Publishing 1990 ISBN: 0-88147-100-3. Pg.231.

3. “Poetry,” Poetic Voices of America, Fall 1990, Sparrowgrass Poetry Forum, Inc.
1990 ISBN: 0-923242-08-2, p.162.
4. Class Planting Seed for Businesses, Amy David, The Daily Oklahoman II- Oklahoma City Times, Community, Nov. 8,1996, p.1.
5. Int’l Library of Poetry
• Famous Poets Award of Recognition for 1995
• Editor’s Choice Award – June 2001
• Poet of Merit Award – 2000-2003
• Merit Silver Award Bowl –2002
• Merit Bronze Metal 2001
• Honorable Mention – several 1996-2003

6. Tarrant County Texas Poetry Association memberships 2005

7. Blog:

a. Two halves of a soul – a novel about young love lasting 40 years

Posted in Recipes

Cauliflower Mash

1 medium head of cauliflower florets

3 Tablespoons Parmesan cheese grated

1/4 cup fat-free Greek yogurt plain

1/2 teaspoon minced garlic

1/4 teaspoon black pepper- to taste

steam cook cauliflower in the microwave

blend cheeses, yogurt, garlic, and pepper and add to cauliflower and stir into a mash potato constituency.

1 cup serving 4 grams protein and 40 calories


Posted in rants & opinions

When writing- Keep it Simple

The proof is in the details, that you did your background investigations, and have collated the data available, and are ready to execute a plan only to realize later that keeping it simple would have worked best.

Whether it’s writing a dissertation, report, or blog simplicity is the key. The reader doesn’t care about the hours of prep time it took you to write your column they only want to be entertained, have their imagination stretched, or feel an emotional connection with an author.


Posted in rants & opinions

The nerve of some people- update

2018 My sister went up the mountain to a neighbor’s yard sale. She found her missing tools, pans, and other items. She went home hopping mad and called the police. They came out and made arrests and returned some of the merchandise stolen, some they kept as evidence, but allot was missing. What is so tragic is that the thieves mother works dispatch at a local police department. She didn’t question her sons on where they were getting stuff from and using her home outer building to store things in while they were putting a yard sale together.  She pleads ignorance to the thefts and wasn’t arrested.

Heads-up if your lazy no-account sons start to bring in household goods you might want to ask where they got them from and not take “from a friend” as an answer.


Posted in Inspirational

What it is like in Heaven

Heaven is an incredible place of pure joy. I was a small child when I went to heaven for a little while.  I remember being in the hospital so very many times as a small child with Bronchial Asthma attacks.  This one event stands out in my memory of going to heaven and recognizing it was heaven immediately although I was too young to glimmer the difference between heaven and earth and hell.

It was daylight and there were small animals all around and people talking. I was playing with white long-eared bunnies and was so happy. As a child, all animals were off limits to me because of the Asthma. But this time I was able to play and laugh and not be sick.  I heard someone tell me that I had to go back that it was not my time yet. I remember seeing myself with people (doctor/nurses) all around me as I lay on a bed like a table and later woke up inside an oxygen tent.

My mom was told that they almost lost me, that my life had stopped for a moment but they were able to revive me.  I’ve always had this memory of being in utter indescribable joy.  As an adult, I have tried to fill in the significance of the memory and rationalize it but I can’t. It just boils down to faith either you believe or you don’t. I know in my mind and heart that there is another realm to be alive in and it is only when our subconsciousness departs from our soul that we are truly set free and it is good.


Posted in Inspirational

Tie a knot and hold on

God is Good, All the Time- God is Good! We are being bombarded on all sides with an emotional boomerang thrown in for good measure.    It’s difficult at times to remember that saying and have a core belief that it is the absolute truth. I am seeking employment as it will solve a lot of our issues; certainly financial concerns with medical and prescription insurance and 401K benefits.

Our 5-ton air conditioner stopped working over the weekend. It has a hole in its two coils and the compressor is scrap. It is going to cost $7,900.00 to replace it.  The HOA does not allow window air conditioners- even if we thought we could go that way for a short term.  We have two box fans and one revolving fan to augment our ceiling fans.  The hot/cold weather is hard on Robert with his weakened immune system.

You’ve heard the old saying, “grab a rope, tie a knot, and hang on for the ride because it’s gonna be bumpy for a long time”. That is what we are doing. Satan is sending circumstances to shake our faith and make it wavier if only for a minute. We are plugging the holes in our sinking ship.

When you have hardships you 1st make a list and set the priorities according to needs. It just seems like there are emergencies all the time occurring.  We need a good cruise director to get us through the crisis. Friends are good at listening to the things that we don’t have a gag order about. It’s the gag order that adds to the stress- because the information keeps rattling away in your brain.  But I’d rather know and live with a gag order than not know and wonder what is happening in my families lives.

I’m going to make a list of all the obstacles we have overcome since Feb 6th. I am tieing my knot and hanging on for dear life.’






Posted in Inspirational

The Wavering of FAITH

I had a weakness of faith this afternoon. It didn’t last long but the temptation to believe that GOD is limited in insurmountable odds against us.  You see, I was struck by the devasting news that placed money before the quality of health.  After, calling several times this week, I finally got the hospital to call me back with the amount of money required to admit Robert into the hospital for surgery later this morning.  They told me at 4:20 p.m. yesterday, that I needed $18,368.00 down payment on a $25K+ debt to be incurred.

I called Elder Bruce at Eagleview Church and he prayed for me and Robert; for wisdom, strong faith in times of peril, and to allow GOD to do his job in us. So much is running through my mind even as I type. The only solution is to go to the Emergency Room and see if they will admit Robert into the hospital so he can have “emergency” surgery today. There are no guarantees that he will be admitted. They may give him nitroglycerine for his pain and send him home.

Then, I will have to try and reach out to news stations for assistance. Even if they admit him when it is all over with I am going to reach out to the television reporter about the insurance coverage we were supposed to be purchasing. It is not morally right to tell us that we are buying coverage for hospitalization and sickness, then switch it to another plan without telling us- which is what occurred.  It was a limited medical plan in that prescriptions were not covered and we were limited to five doctor visits per month. The doctor co-pay was to be $25-$30.00 each sick visit and our doctors accepted the MultiPlan insurance program. I was also promised a 70% to 40% discount on hospitalizations in the network.  We were also allowed one ambulance coverage and two emergency room visits. Anesthesia, in an outpatient surgery, were covered.

The reality of what we actually bought hit at 4:20 p.m.  The hospital is paid $750.00 for one day of service. The anesthesia is paid $187.50 for one service.  The surgical procedure is paid $750.00 one visit (but the hospital would not deduct that from the bill until services are rendered).  The total estimated bill is $25,263.68 and the hospital wants an $18,386.00 deposit at the time of admittance to the hospital. And the doctor bill of $1,500.00 was not covered at all.  I was in a tailspin- we don’t have that kind of money period. The savings I do have will only get us 6 months living expenses with all of Kassidey paycheck being applied. And that is not including additional medical or any other major expense that may occur.  The hospital was firm but friendly. They do not have a benevolence program for charges to be incurred or deposits required.  They did say their benevolence program allows for 1/2 the balance be paid and then 3 monthly installments afterward to be paid. I don’t blame the hospital for wanting to be paid upfront. I just wish they would have a heart and put us on a payment plan that I could live with.




Posted in Inspirational

When life throws you a curve ball

So much has occurred in the last month. My husband Robert was forced into taking an early retirement from work due to his serious and life-threatening health issues.  The quote, “Pride goeth before the fall,”  resonates it’s lone warnings.  But, I have hope that everything will be alright- that GOD is on our side, and he is faithful.

It’s a thought process. We were making a lot of money then, now we are not making any. What do we do?

1. Tell your story

Host a go-fund-me page or plea to the neighborhood

2. Determine the essentials of survival

We don’t need the TV but we do need electricity- evaluate the basics survival requirements, then add on the luxuries if any money is left over.

3. Ask for assistance and accept it graciously

Community charities are a place to start as a one-time safety net.

4. Thank those who have a generous heart

If they are making time to give to you, then make time to sincerely thank them from your heart.

5. Make a plan of action

To eliminate debt to cash ratio variances

Cash in 401K, closeout savings account, get rid of an automobile with the higher payment,  host yard sales (sell extra stuff laying around the house not needed),

6. Trust in GOD!

He has given you the presence of wisdom from others in your life. Belief is one of the hardest things we make ourselves do- yet it is the simplest feat to just let go and have faith that God is in control.



Posted in Memorial Tributes

Farewell Dr. Billy Grahm Jr.

We can all agree that Dr. Billy Grahm Jr. was a man who spoke of God as a loving father to his children. 1918-2018 a life of testimony for all sinners to accept the loving grace of God. That while we were sinners Christ died on the cross of Calvary Hill for us, was laid to rest in a tomb, and was risen into eternal life. The simple message, “God loves you,”  is the message of unfailing belief that there is a living God and we all will be accountable for our beliefs and actions when we die.

Posted in rants & opinions

Personal Accountably not GUN control

I going to go out on a short limb here and say that I support the Second Amendment.

It is tragic that thousands of people are murdered by guns each year. There are also thousands of people who are murdered in vehicle collisions each year.

If a person has made up their mind that they are going to kill even one other person- they method of execution is not the importance- it’s the mindset.  Allowing AK47 and other automatic machine guns to be out in the hands of anyone under the age of 21 years old ought to be the limit of gun control enforcement.  Criminals will get them any way that they can. Again, illegal gun brokers are a menace to society and should be arrested with stiff sentences.

People are crying that we should lock up depressed or mentally deranged individuals. We don’t need bigger jails, but we do need better clinics and hospitals paid for through tax dollars for the uninsured and medical insurance dollars for those who have it.  We need to stop the stigma that people are crazy if they reach out and get help. Society needs to be educated about different forms of mental illness and the different degrees that warrant medical or judicial intervention.

It’s not the law-abiding citizens who have mental illness fault that some person decides to kill as many people as he can. The public sees the killer as being mentally ill. I don’t agree. A killer has a mindset that they are entitled to kill, harm, maim others because they want to. Putting a ban on guns, vehicles, or other devices that have potential to kill another human being is not the answer. We have to administer to the mindset of the individual doing the crime.

We need to educate our children on self-care and methods of de-escalating a situation. That drama is not warranted by hormonal shifting teenagers and adolescents that grow into adults that love drama in their lives. It’s time to make individuals accountable for the choices that they make in life.

To the parents and siblings of those who have lost children/family, “I share in your grief, it is intolerable! The murderer should be punished with the death penalty.  Although capital punishment will not bring your loved one back from the grave, it will serve as a warning consequence to other like-minded individuals seeking to harm or kill others. May GOD give you a measure of comfort and a clear mind of what the issues are truly about as you grieve the loss of your child/family.”


Posted in Inspirational

How to combat anxiety & worry in 5 easy steps

Inner peace is a conscious choice that we each make upon waking. When you are caught up in the mind field of irrational thinking or feeling stress out try these five techniques to restore your equilibrium.

  1. Breathe deeply and exhale slowly several times when anxiety or worry occurs
  2. say a prayer of thanksgiving, even if it is for somebody else
  3. break down the parts of the anxious thoughts and feelings.
  4. using media resources or common sense to analyze each strong repetitive thought and feeling
  5. deliberately interrupt or short circuit the irrational thought process and replace it with a more even scaled rational.

When one is stressed with anxiety or worry their breathing changes, sometimes they shallow breathe or mouth breathe instead of taking nice deep cleansing breaths.

When one is stressed prayer to the Creator GOD works- it allows you to focus for a moment on someone else’s problem or explain your problem in greater detail. Once the parts are broken down then you can start managing each step.

When one is stressed common sense is usually short sighted. Since you have broken your issue into parts of a whole; ask yourself is there history to support the thought process; is it true or false? Is their authority behind your idea, if not, let it go!

When you interrupt a negative thought and replace it with a positive one then you deflate the the intensity of the drama.